Wednesday afternoon, after days of emotional upheaval and an incredible hangover, I was scheduled to give a presentation about technology and interpersonal relationships. Don’t ask me to give an opinionated or persuasive presentation when I’m in the middle of a meltdown.
Imagine the bewilderment on faces in the audience when I exclaimed, “I’m not a proponent of technology,” then started crying. See, I was paid to pitch a bunch of shrinks on a piece of interactive software for patients and counselors. Promptly after telling the therapists my honest opinions I was fired by the organization that hired me.
Truth is, I use technology very little when it comes to interacting with people. I prefer a good old fashioned face-to-face meet and greet or telephone. I believe digital communication serves as a reasonable extension of human relationships, but not as the sole foundation.
A friend of mine meets people all the time but instantly converts their interactions from personal to digital. She puts a computerized barrier between her and the other person then wonders why the bond sputters. Rather than make time for a handful of meaningful friendships, she juggles a huge volume of pointless online acquaintances.
City life is something I’ve come to miss over the past bunch of years. I was fortunate to live in a major city for a good portion of my life and found there was always someone to talk with. First impressions are wonderful for starting a friendship; I found out really quickly if the person was someone I could connect with. Most of my long term friendships from that era started as people I met on the street.
Technology, as it relates to communication, can be good and bad. Keeping in contact with long distance friends requires linking up with them on Facebook. Keeping them as friends requires making a phone call and occasionally buying airfare. I’ve decided there’s a filter between here and New York that strips emotion from the digital mishmash of ones and zeros before messages reach my college friends.
New customers to my business find us through word-of-mouth or our website. I came to terms a few years ago and revamped our website to be more inviting and easy to use. Customers who contact us through email are frequently called back to address issues and avoid miscommunication.
I routinely correct people who tell me my business is based on repairing computers. Although we fix stuff, my business survives based on personal relationships with customers and employees. Businesses that focus too much on their product or service are bound for failure. Putting relationships first and addressing emotional needs requires listening and compassion; neither can be done if technology gets in the way.
Communicating online can also be an incredible time waster. I have been mentoring an Ohio businessman for several years and instructed him not to email. Phone based conversations are much quicker and we have found it’s easier to cut to the chase. Email requires both of us to set aside time to sit in front of a computer; however, there are times when email comes in handy like sending a spreadsheet.
Times have changed and I am the first to appreciate. I also understand that my personality type and generation prefers short and sweet to long and drawn out. Socializing has never meant sending an email or text message and praying it gets returned. Unfortunately for me, I walk to the beat of a different drum and thrive on sharing emotions with the expectation the same will be reciprocated. Relationships without emotion are best kept with a mouse and keyboard.
(Jeromy Patriquin is the President of Laptop & Computer Repair, Inc. located at 509 Main St. in Gardner. You can call him at (978) 919-8059 or visit www.LocalComputerWiz.com.)