This weekend was my biweekly scheduled visit with my two teenage daughters. Although we did most of our normal routine, this weekend my daughters asked me to step out of my shell. I share a lot of advice with my daughters; but this weekend they helped me hone my online dating profile.
It has been many years since I’ve put myself ‘out there’ and pursued a relationship, so I was a little frazzled at the number of online dating services that have sprung up. Seventeen years ago when I last pursued a relationship the internet didn’t exist. Today there are countless dating sites ranging from generic to specific sites based on age, ethnicity, religion, and the list is endless.
Anyone who has ever tried online dating probably understands how the process works. Most sites require some kind of profile which lists hobbies, profession, habits, age, and other information. In addition, at least one picture should be uploaded to let others see who they’re viewing. In my first writing I listed too much personal information about myself and was quickly scolded by my daughter.
We did a little reading and online safety is a must for anyone venturing away from bars and nightclubs to meet others. It’s a good idea not to reveal too much about yourself in the profile. Personal information, such as an address or phone number, is not safe to include. It’s a good idea to communicate online prior to giving out your contact information.
Most websites I visited have a secure and safe chat session which doesn’t disclose personal information. Chatting is a good way to talk online in real-time without revealing too much about yourself. One pay website I looked up has a feature which allows two people to talk through an anonymous phone number. Many dating sites have been designed with safety in mind.
Seven years ago after my divorce, I played with online dating and did meet someone. At that time, dating sites were pretty basic: Pick someone you find interesting and send them an e-mail. Today, most of the sites have questions which are used to analyze personality and match two people based on likes and dislikes.
Eharmony, perhaps the first to use profiling, has a list of likes and dislikes which generates a complete psychological profile to mate people. Match and its sister company Chemistry use some basic psychological algorithms. My favorite free site is OKCupid because it uses fun questions based on user input to match potential mates.
Apparently, writing a profile is a science and should be written and rewritten several times. My daughters agreed my profile was a little too boring and didn’t express enough about who I am. When we dusted off my old profile this weekend my girls suggested I clean it up a bit. Had my daughters not been so eager to help, many companies offer to write the profile for an additional fee.
For some people, including myself, venturing into bars and clubs has no appeal. I lost my attraction to that scene in my early twenties. I think like most singles in their forties (and older) online dating provides a safe alternative to chumming in bars. As with everything in life; as our priorities change we must adjust and online dating sites provide an alternative.
Nothing compares to chance encounters with a complete stranger; however, in this area I have found very few times when a chance encounter actually occurs. There have been times I meet someone and wonder if it’s apropos to ask them out. Until I finally get answers to all my dating dilemmas, I’m going to give online dating a whirl. From what I’ve seen so far it seems fairly safe and straight forward and opens me up to a reasonable population of single people.
(Jeromy Patriquin is the President of Laptop & Computer Repair, Inc. located at 509 Main St. in Gardner. You can text him at (978) 413-2840 or call him directly at (978) 919-8059.)